Among the soups I’ve enjoyed in restaurants that I haven’t made yet, or made as well as the restaurant, is chicken tortilla soup. Red Sage in DC, gone now, had a chicken tortilla soup worth traveling into the city for. The Sedona White Corn Soup at California Pizza Kitchen lacks only chicken to be a contender. Do you actually need chicken to be a contender?

• 6 tbs olive or canola oil
• 6 corn tortillas
• 2 tbs chopped garlic
• 1/2 cup chopped carrot
• 2 medium sized jalapeno peppers
• 1 cup chopped fresh cilantro
• 1 28 oz can of diced (whatever) tomatoes
• 36 oz frozen sweet white corn
• 1 tbs cumin
• 2 tbs chili
• 1 tbs white pepper
• 2 tbs kosher (whatever) salt

Cut up the tortillas up into one-inch strips to make them easier to handle, and cook them in the oil until they are a bit crispy. I used white corn tortillas, which I think are nicer, but yellow corn is fine. Do not salt them or sneak bits of fried tortilla when you think no one is looking. No. Do not. They’re for the soup.

This might be a good time to put them in the soup pot.

All the recipes for CPK’s soup agree that a few tablespoons of sauteed onion are plenty. Since I don’t actually followrecipes, I added the larger half of a white onion (chopped), along with two tbs of minced garlic, and a cup of chopped carrots. Oh, and two fair sized jalapeno peppers, with their ribs and seeds removed and chopped into little bits. Cook it all up until the onions are nice and soft.

Since you did so well not sampling the tortilla chips, I’ll give you some more free advice, though proper cooking hygiene should mean you shouldn’t need it: after chopping the jalapeno, DO NOT TOUCH your skin, including lips, eyes, or other sensitive areas. If you forget, don’t blame me.

Add the water, tomatoes, all but 1 cup of corn, the dried spices and the two tbs salt to the soup and bring it all to a simmer. Let it simmer for fifteen minutes. Remove from heat.

Add the cup of chopped cilantro. It’s a nice touch if you take the stems out before chopping it, but if you’re lazy…well…the next step is to take out the immersible blender and puree it until it’s a smooth as you like. I like it pretty smooth.

Now, add the cup of corn you had left over and stir. Bring the soup back to a simmer and give it another fifteen minutes.

Taste soup. Raise eyebrows. Taste more. Smile that self-satisfied grin you think makes you look so clever. For once, you’re right.

Congratulations, you just made a vegetarian soup, and it totally rocks. Take it from me, a born carnivore. This is good soup. If you don’t tell anyone, they’ll never stop to ask. Chickens? We don’t need no stinkin’ chickens.

Garnishes are always fun, and if you’ve got some tortillas left over, go ahead and cut them into long thin stips and fry them in oil until crispy. Serve either over or under the soup. Cheddar or Cracker Jack (Monterrey jack with red peppers in it) grated over the top and melted are a fine addition as well. Avocado chunks too. If it’s a party, or you’re just trying to impress someone, do all three. And more cilantro sprinkled on top. Speaking of sprinkling, squeezing a bit of lime juice over the whole thing isn’t a bad idea either.

Here’s an idea I want to try: mix sour cream, lime juice and cilantro and swirl it over the soup just before serving.

Serve with cold beer or margaritas. You knew that part, right?