{"id":568,"date":"2011-01-22T09:30:53","date_gmt":"2011-01-22T14:30:53","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.e357.net\/beingernest\/?p=568"},"modified":"2013-06-18T21:05:20","modified_gmt":"2013-06-19T02:05:20","slug":"tv-times","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/e357.net\/beingernest\/tv-times\/","title":{"rendered":"TV Times"},"content":{"rendered":"

\""the<\/a>She turned to me and said
\nI just don’t get TV
\nHaving grown up
\nIn the jungles of Borneo
\nWith my Peace Corps parents
\nAnd stern English nanny
\nAnd the treasured books
\nThat I (re)read
\nBy candlelight.<\/p>\n

Shhhhhh! I warned her,
\nAs the commercial blared
\nThey’ll hear you.
\nBut she didn’t know
\nThat the Nielsen ears were listening
\nAnd the knock at the door
\nWasn’t the pizza man
\nAfter all.<\/p>\n

They took her away
\nTo a gray room filled with light
\nfrom a rounded screen.
\nAnd made her watch
\nGray images of the modern farmer
\nIt was all that was on at 5am,
\nAnd grotesquely cheerful shows
\nwith freckled puppets.
\nSo that her dreams
\nWould-be haunted places
\nWhere Timmy is still down in the well
\nWhile Lassie scratches
\nAt the door.<\/p>\n

And they kept her up late at night
\nTo watch, unblinking,
\nAn endless parade of badly
\nDressed aliens and monsters
\nAnd creatures from the dark
\nShambling through the bleary late show hours
\nTheir story lines infused
\nWith the watcher’s own desperate
\nExhaustion.<\/p>\n

In the morning they moved her
\ninto a sunny room with
\nYellow walls and a color Zenith.
\nThey gave her the first remote
\n(the ultrasonic space commander)
\nAnd showed her stories about
\nA talking horse, or car, or ghosts
\nThat wouldn’t leave the house
\nAnd that girl in the bottle
\nPoor Major Nelson. Really?
\nAnd after a while she learned to twitch
\nHer nose, but could never tell
\nThe two Darrins
\nApart.<\/p>\n

In time they returned her to me,
\nBut she was hardly the same.
\nLost in the marathon commercial break
\nBefore the big reveal.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

She turned to me and said I just don’t get TV Having grown up In the jungles of Borneo With my Peace Corps parents And stern English nanny And the treasured books That I (re)read By candlelight. Shhhhhh! I warned her, As the commercial blared They’ll hear you. But she didn’t know That the Nielsen […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[5],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-568","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-poems"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/e357.net\/beingernest\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/568","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/e357.net\/beingernest\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/e357.net\/beingernest\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/e357.net\/beingernest\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/e357.net\/beingernest\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=568"}],"version-history":[{"count":13,"href":"https:\/\/e357.net\/beingernest\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/568\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":3122,"href":"https:\/\/e357.net\/beingernest\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/568\/revisions\/3122"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/e357.net\/beingernest\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=568"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/e357.net\/beingernest\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=568"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/e357.net\/beingernest\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=568"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}